Thirteens Characters

Main Characters

Name: Evellic Fen Dou
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Race: Human
Height: 7'4" ft
Weight: 268 lbs
Eye Color: Luminescent Green
Hair Color: Black
Hair style: Chin length, messy
Skin Tone: Mid Tanned

Personality
Evellic is usually calm, cool headed and professional when dealing with other people but quickly gets annoyed with arrogant or unreasonable people. When traveling outside of civilized areas she tends to be more heavy handed when dealing with strangers or in combat situations, often threatening the individual with violence if they do not answer her questions. This is a response she developed in response to the large number of bandits that have tried to rob her. She also has a deep distrust of magic users, due to her past experiences with them, but also knows that they are the key to understanding Felarya's strange magical properties. Her dealings with them are often done at the point of a gun unless somehow proven trustworthy.

She is also highly prone to culture shock and is confounded by the strange ways of Felarya's inhabitants. Why are foreign invaders not made into slaves and put to work doing something useful? Why do adventurers constantly ignore all the warnings they've been given and then act so surprised when they get themselves killed? Why do the locals only equip themselves with basic weapons and equipment when traveling through a jungle filled with giant cannibalistic monster people?

It was this frustration at the alien environment around her that gave Evellic the idea of founding her own warrior clan and showing the people of Felarya how to properly run a society. Sure it won't be anything grandiose like the great city Negav, but it would be populated by strong warriors who knew how to survive and fight.

Coming from a culture with a reputation for piracy, violence and opulent living, Evellic is no exception. She absolutely loves fighting both on the battlefield and in the arena. She loves the thrill of adventure and getting treasure. She is also a firm believer of luxury living and will settle for nothing less than high class living accommodations, though she does draw the line at having her possessions gold plated, in her mind that just wasteful spending.

Besides fighting Evellic is also a passionate music lover (Mostly rock and classical.), has an appreciation of fine artwork (Murals depicting scenes of violence are her favorites.), reading books (Mainly those on magic and dangerous predators.), seeing theatrical events and sampling various exotic foods. Evellic has also developed a fondness of jetbikes and driving at extreme speeds. If she is not doing any of these things she is usually hanging out at various recreational areas.

Attire/Weapons

Clothing
When not wearing her armor, Evellic wears the upper half of a white sleeveless Karate gi with brown pants, a brown belt, iron grieves and white work boots.

Sword
A large, double bladed sword made from hardened steel that is always kept razor sharp. It has various runes etched into each side of the blade that spell out the words 'RULE OF VIOLENCE' 'SWORD OF WIN' in her peoples ancient language. Is is mainly used in arena duels, other than that it is mainly kept on her wall for show.

S-77 4G Vlad
Built by the people of Evellic's world and greatly resembling the AA12 Machine Shotgun. It is a heavily built, smooth bore, semi-automatic combat shotgun that fires large 4 gauge rounds. It can fire 15 shots thanks to it's drum magazine. It has a plastic stock with a happy face engraved in it. Evellic usually carries a mix of flechette, explosive and rock salt rounds for temporarily blinding giant predators.

Due to the fact that her gun would easily knock an average sized human on his or her back, the ammunition her weapon uses is virtually non existent and have to be custom made. They are much more expensive than regular rounds but Evellic is more than happy to pay the price.

Raider MK 4 Power Armor
A suit of light power armor designed for jungle combat. The suit has a very rugged, minimalistic appearance with clawed hands and feet. It is also painted to blend in with jungle terrain and has a grappling hook mounted on the right arm. A six inch thick, rectangular shaped battery pack is mounted on the back.

Functionality wise, it increases the users speed and strength by 25%. It also has a built in radio and the hardened titanium plating provides excellent protection from weapons fire and dangerous wild life (Small animals and plants anyways.). The battery can last for three days before needing to be recharged by a fold out solar panel. Evellic has forgone the bulky helmet in favor of a green tinted visor with a heads up display.

Skills/Powers
Evellic is an expert when it comes to close quarters combat, having honed her skills in the arena for years. She is also highly proficient with firearms and knows military tactics.

Coming from a tropical climate, Evellic is no stranger to surviving in the jungle. She can hunt for food, build a fire and conceal herself from enemies when necessary. She is also skilled at looting the remains of dead adventurers and can very quickly gather all of their valuables to be sold later.

Evellic has taken a very keen interest in artifact magic, seeing as she doesn't have any innate magical abilities of her own. She has been relentlessly researching to learn how to craft her own magic based weapons. So far she only has the bare basics learned but is making rapid progress.

Evellic can also see perfectly in the dark, though this is a product of evolution rather than any innate magical ability.

Backstory
Evellic was originally from a planet called Aldolia and lived on a cluster of remote islands that were home to a group of technologically advanced warrior clans. The one she was born into was the Sadarcus Clan who were known to be pirates, slavers and fortune seekers. There Evellic began her life normally enough, being raised and trained in their ways. During that time she took a special interest in arena fighting and soon became popular for her duels with captured slaves while also proving herself on various raiding missions.

Her life suddenly changed when she suddenly found herself ritualistically summoned to Felarya by a mad witch named Merramya. Before she could do anything she was put under a spell and suddenly found herself no longer in control of her own body. She quickly discovered that she was among many warriors who had been summoned to Felarya and they were to accompany Merramya's cult on an expedition to the Tomb of Alcazath. Further questioning revealed that they were to act as meat shields so Merramya and her followers could cast their spells without interference.

The journey into the tomb went surprisingly well despite the giant flaming salamanders, demons, giant three headed dogs monsters and various other horrors that were thrown at them. Things took a turn for the worst when Merramya and her cultists suddenly found themselves no longer possessing the powers given to them by their dark deities, freeing Evellic and the others from their control in the process.

Evellic ran her life but not before grabbing some of the artifacts they had collected while the others were distracted by being eaten. She barely managed to escape the tomb with her life. She then ran into Lyeych and Darole. After a tense standoff, she agreed to join them and later became the group leader.

While I'm trying to get inspired to finish the first chapter, anyone want to give feedback on what I have down so far?

OK, I guess I'll spare a few minutes.

Pretty simple and to the point; that's a good start. Raider in power armor with a love for battle. Catching a little of a pulp vibe there too- kinda like Conan. If anything, I think her personality's not really descriptive enough. We have no idea how she talks the talk or walks the walk. Try adding in a bit more of what she does when not fighting or thinking about fighting.

On a different note, now... I'd ask why the sword. I'm guessing it was for killing slaves in the arena; perhaps you could point out whether them slaves were captured G.I. Joes fighting for their freedom or captured Average Joes being executed by a hot chick for the joy of the Caesar. I mean, if she's got a shotgun, I'm not sure what she's doing with dat big sword of win.

Now, I'mma guessing her story's going to pick up sometime after her daring escape from the temple- when she's had the time to look up some ways to pound an Excalibur into shape. If so, where she's going to get the ammo for her shotgun may come in handy. 8-caliber is pretty rare even here in Boring World; unless she bought that thing somewhere nearby, for all you know her dime a dozen round is now a wildcat. Some weapons are capable of firing bullets a bit bigger than their bore, because the force of the explosion can force the thing down the barrel- look into that, might be a way to add flavor, I dinnae.

That grenade launcher... well, if you've looked up grenade launchers on your own time, you'll know even the single-shot ones don't look like pistols. Chick's seven foot four and 268 pounds of pure preposterone, so maybe you'll want to point out they're suited to her hands, but not to anyone else's. If they are, I dinnae. There's also shotgun grenades you might want to look into.

As for the power armor, there's a little thing I'd like to tell you about doubling your strength and speed with a hand crank... but we can do without, so let's just say that if you aim for minimalism and claws, you're going to look like a medabot.

Aaand- I know you prolly read it in the wiki that the guardians might take exception if your thaumaturgy's good enough, but you prolly read too that the guardians ought not be used in stories, so you could, if you want, put just that their magic suddenly failed. It ain't the guardians style either- they just make things go boom, like Ur-Sagol, or the Dridder Empire, or the Correctors.


I've taken a quick look at how you write, Cell- though it's not really my bottle o' beer. Perhaps you can actually pull off la technoviking; only one way to find out, but don't try to jump right into the action. If I'm right as to what you're after, if you want to write action this time around rather than arachno-woman vore, well, what works for me is keeping the action as brief as possible.


Here's to hoping it helps, Thirteen.

Whew, ok I think I got everything fixed. how does it all look now?

So I see grendade launchers, shotguns, power armor, and the like. I'll say this:

Be wary of fancy items, thats all I can say. the average adventurer cant get that stuff, they all start out dirt poor, and need to be successful with the basics before they have enough skevols to upgrade. so she would have had to do a lot of work, and considering that a lot of advanced weaponry or rather all of it, is reserved for military purposes, or the black market. if she gets into the black market, thats already very dangerous, and not guaranteed.

Think she brought 'em herself, Bael. Don't think they make power armor in size 7' 4". Also, he did off with the grenade launchers. Besides, she nabbed the artifacts of a whole expedition and ran off in her backstory- that's another point for her cash worth.

I think you'll do fine like this, actually- no biggie this time around. If you feel ready, go for it.

Alright, I got Lyeych's profile done. Can someone look this over and see if it's okay?

Alright, I tried. I'll just have them ad background npcs or something.