Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures

I made some changes to Beryl. I removed all references to her kung-fu and nerve-striking abilities, opting instead for painting-based magic powers. Anyone who is familiar with One Piece and/or Naruto will probably be able to have a good idea of what her powers are like. I decided on them because the combat ability didn't really fit well with the painting ability or her personality, and I don't perceive the abilities I've given her to be cliché at all. If you have a different opinion of this, or any more ideas of what her artistic magic could entail, please comment! Any and all feedback will be greatly appreciated!

Name: Rell
Race: Sand Mermaid
Chrono / Bio Age: 102 / 23
Sex: Female
Height: 35 feet head to waist
Length: 82 feet head to tailfin
Hair Colour: Black
Eye Colour: Blue
Skin Tone: Tanned
Scale Colour: Sandy Brown, Black Spots
Predation: Opportunistic
Food Category: .1 inch to 50+ feet Prefers: N/A

-Appearance-
Rell is a sand mermaid - the entirety of Akaptor Desert, and sometimes even the surrounding regions, makes up her home. Her tan skin, like most of her kind, blends to an extent with the desert sand, and her hair shines black and clean despite swimming through the sand most of the time. She has a build fairly athletic but not muscular, and has a good set of curves for a mermaid. Her striking blue eyes shine in the sunlight, being the only real varying colour on her. Her tail is long and strong, as any mermaids', blending well with the sand using it's light brown colour, sprinkled with tiny black spots in no particular pattern. She tends to wear a neutral, almost half-asleep and uninterested expression at norm. Cup size CC (relative).

-Personality-
Rell tends to keep a reserved yet cynical attitude about things, people, and life in general. She's untrusting of strangers for the most part, even when they don't seem to present any danger to her. She enjoys reading books that she finds, even though she has to strain her eyes to read them. She enjoys all kinds of books, including ones about magic, history, or fiction, and because of this, she is very knowledgeable about a variety of subjects, and is always ready to learn more. Towards people she cares about, she can be very warm, helpful, and protective, though she can be somewhat clingy. Her pessimistic, cynical attitude can get the better of her in certain situations, but typically she tries to maintain a cool, aloof demeanor, and hides her true thoughts. She has a soft spot for poetry.

-Background-
Growing up, Rell had what one might consider a perfect childhood, consisting of a loving family who taught and played with her, letting her make some of her own mistakes and keeping her safe from making others. She had a few friends whom she got along with, spending much of her time either hunting or playing. One day, in her teenage decades, she discovered a buried ruins deep below the sand, and from it, she gathered a large pile of books which she shared with her friends. Intrigued, she studied the tomes fervently, figuring out slowly how to interpret them by comparing them with eachother. She began hoarding them from her friends, who admittedly didn't see the value she saw in them. She taught herself how to read different writings using these and other books she would find buried under the desert sands and would take from travelers, exchanging reading lessons for lives whenever the opportunity arose. Eventually, she got to the point where she devoted all her time to books, neglecting her friends, her family, and her health. At that point, those around her staged a formal intervention, confiscating her books and putting her under strict supervision. She stopped talking to everyone in rebellion, though she did see that they were right to an extent. But to her, these tomes of knowledge were too important. She did make a recovery from her obsession, however, and patched up her relationships with her family and her friends. She did still devote a portion of her time to reading, however, which angered one friend to the point that she destroyed one of Rell's books. Enraged, Rell retaliated violently, and cut all ties with that person, not even giving them a chance to apologize. Severely affected by what she saw as a huge betrayal, Rell wouldn't talk to her other friend either, and eventually grew distant from her, too. She managed to keep a hold on her relationship with her parents, however, which still holds strong to this day, even though she hasn't quite found it in her to really put her trust in anyone else.

-Abilities-
Being a sand mermaid, Rell has the innate ability to move the sand at will using earth magic. Above everything else, this ability allows her to do as her people do: swim through the sand as if it were water. Beyond this, she can also manipulate the sand for hunting and self-defense purposes. For example, one of her favourite methods of capturing prey is to create a hand as big as her own out of sand with which to grasp it, while keeping her actual body beneath the sand's surface until her prey is caught. She can also use her abilities to move sand dunes, which is useful for hiding and launching surprise attacks, or kick up clouds of dust to confuse potential threats and prey alike. Outside of her magical abilities, Rell also has a large amount of knowledge on a variety of subjects, from hunting techniques to fashion design, history's greatest figures to fairy biology. However, that's not to say she can recall all of it at any given time - her memory is not as powerful as her ability to learn. Rell, as a desert dweller, has an extent of resistance to both fire and heat as well as ice and cold, but her people's weakness to sonic attacks and loud noises still holds with her. She is also not as physically adept as other members of her race.

-Diet-
As a resident of the desert, Rell is not picky about what she gets to eat. From the smallest insects burrowing through the sand to a harpy if so inclined, anything can find itself on her menu. A sapient prey's chances of getting off her menu vary depending on how hungry she is, as she can be either very determined to get a meal, or very lax about whether or not she gets one based on her hunger. Offering her decent reading material, especially that which she hasn't read before, is a good way to get off her menu no matter what - even when starving, Rell will find it pretty difficult to resist a book.

Zelkova's Bio has been updated. :3 She no longer uses any magic, now utilizing weapons. I've described one weapon in particular that should prove effective for a variety of situations. I've changed her appearance to suit this as well. Any thoughts on the new changes would be appreciated.

So I just noticed, uh, my character thread has over 10,000 views. o.o; So, uh, thanks to everyone who's been interested in my characters! =^_^= I put a lot of effort into making them interesting, and it means a lot to me that they've been getting so much attention!

I feel like doing something special. What I'm going to do is, for anyone that comments on this thread with a bit of detailed feedback on one of my characters, even if it's just to the effect of telling me something you like or don't like and why you like or dislike it (I'd like at least a few sentences here), I'll try to write one short story focusing on a character of your choice, including one of mine, one of your own creation, or one made by someone else that you like. The short stories will hopefully come out something like this:

http://tanoshiiatsu.deviantart.com/art/A-Dance-of-Warriors-335009221

They'll be something like this, a single scene of the character of your choice doing a thing. I will be in contact with each person who takes me up on this offer to determine which character the short will focus on and what they might be doing, as well as doing follow-ups to make sure I captured each character properly. I'll be accepting entries until September 20th, though that may change depending on level of demand. Thank you again, everyone!

About Beryl, I love the fact that she is a fellow boob lover ^o^ and her artistic skills are quite unique among the characters we've seen so far, and the hat is a nice touch XD But how does she keep all these paintings around? It must be a bit cumbersome to carry them all around all the time.

I think we even did an RP where she tried to paint Poss and she got -really- pissed when she moved.

In particular, I love Kahina. Her abilities sound quite useful, and remind me of a story I read. Though I forget the name, I remember the main character had a similar ability to Kahina's muscle inhibitor. It dealt with lifting the restrictions of pain, pain being the thing that prevents beings from becoming monsters. However, shouldn't this ability have reverse affects as well? The limits are in place for a reason afterall, and to forgo them requires making yourself more prone to injury.

Review for Kahina, the Shakala.


Appearance:
You called her a Shakala, a being also named as kowo-neko, or, if you ask me, hedgehogs. To my understanding, she is a human with spikey, long hair, indicated by the fact she is capable of wearing clothes. The hair is protruding from her head as usual, I assume. Now, with hair so long it reaches to her ankles, and it being super hard in order to be used as a weapon, I would like to know how she can actually move around without tearing both her clothes, AND environment to shreds. I recommend changing the hair into something that can be hardened using some nerve impuls, rather than them staying hard at all times.
Also, the ability to roll into an all defense ball is all nice, but then she needs that special hair protruding from her torso and legs and arms as well. Since usually rolling into a ball includes tugging away your vulnerable head, its impossible for you to form anything like a ball with needles into all directions.
Pink eyes? that's something unusual, though not bad. :3
The rest of her description is relatively generic, nothing positive nor negative to say here.
You might want to add: Physical strength, scars, wounds, tattoos, stuff that makes her body unique other than the racial hair.

Personality:
Why does she not enjoy fighting? Did something in the past cause her to be so much different from the others?
also, if shes so gentle, how does she gain the respect of her fellow shakala (a fighter species?) and gets accepted as the leader of a tribe that specializes in hunting, fighting and a overall nomadic, tribal life?
You mention later that she has psychic abilities, is that alone the reason she got her tribes leadership?
Other than that, she has a too perfect personality. She's superior to a common person and her only notable personality flaw is that she knows (and shows) it. The other flaw of being too honest is immediately outvalued by the fact she can be manipulative on command, which makes little sense, seeing how a character flaw is something you shouldnt be able to turn off by going serious mode. So some bad side of her personality should be put in there as well. I do that with my OCs too, Dalia is a coward and arrogant, Narame is cold blooded and doesnt care about her allies lifes, Anara... Well, shes an evil succubus out to hurt people, and even Juliana my angel is being extremely zealous and unforgiving with any evil and its collaborateurs, despite being of a rather friendly and lovely nature.
Lastly, is there a reason she doesnt view tinies as food? And why doesnt she protect tinies form her tribe then, effectively banning eating tinies? I think she's kind of in a double morale spot here, where she doesnt kill tinies, but doesnt mind her tribe doing so.

Background:
Reading the background now, I like the amount of detail you put in here. The story is reasonable and explains some questions from earlier. However, I feel like the story again doesnt leave any flaws on her. All bad things happening arent really her guilt, and all in all, it appears you really try to make the reader like her and feel sympathy for her. If thats what you aimed for, its fine, if not, then you might want to build in some bad sides as well. The mentioning of her eyes turning pink seemed pretty off though, as if to handwave some unnatural phenomenon. maybe just make them pink per default? I dont see how a spell of psychic (!) abilities permanently changes the colour hue of your retina. YOu might want to add a lot of struggle to get her tribes respect. Shes been absent for YEARS if not decades, and suddenly, the tribe leader dies, she comes out of nowhere and is totally understanding and caring for people she hasnt seen in the most time of her life? Here you could really put in some struggle and conflict for her to gain respect and climb the ranks again, because when she joins them, she should be considered an outcast at first, it being a tribal, close-knit community and all. She shouldnt even be able to KNOW her kinsmen at first, yet alone understand their thinking, seeing how she spent most of her life among negavians.
So theres a lot of unused potential here.


Abilities:
Abilities seem fine for the most part, nothing to ciritizise here. You might want to point out her physical capabilities as well, and maybe add some weaknesses other than water and fire, such as a weak body, or prone to injuries when not using her abilities to empower herself, or her body really being wrecked due to the strain she puts on them. Inhibitors do have a purpose after all, to prevent you from damaging yourself. turning those off does make you use your body to a higher potential, but at the cost of self preservation. You should add that.  




thats about it. Other than the things I mentioned, i like the character for what and who she is. :3

I'm getting into the process of updating all my characters bios. I have decided to begin with the one character who I feel has become a lot deeper than her original bio let on, as she was initially intended just to be a fetish machine for use whenever things got sexy. As she's developed so much since inception, I feel it's only right to give her a much more fleshed out bio.

Niela's bio has been updated. https://felarya.forumotion.com/t1920p75-nyaha-s-various-characters-and-creatures#103689

There's one thing I'd like to know from anyone who likes reading bios: Do you think that having a section dedicated to describing some of what has happened to her in RPs would be a good idea? Since she's developed so much through RP, her 'story' version isn't the same as her 'RP' version, which can create a strange dissonance for anyone reading her bio, expecting one thing, and getting another once they start RPing with her. But at the same time, I don't know if that would just be more wall of text to slog through and make a bigger barrier to reading it all, or whether it would have any other unintended side effect. Please let me know!