Magic Treasure Chest

This is based off an old forum game I used to play way back when. Basically it goes like this: There's a treasure chest that, when you put something in it and close the lid, you get something out that's different and sometimes funny.

For example:

Guy 1: *Puts in a some smal blue box*

Guy 2: *A small doctor comes out and is all like "Well isn't this fascinating! Were on aplanet of giants!"

Get it? Here's the first post:

Jedi: *Puts a large piece of gold in the Chest*

Ah! Like that "Corrupt a Wish" thread on that other forum I used to frequent... Well lessee...
A huge snake comes out and bursts into flames, burning Jedi's house down.
I put in a smaller chest that looks identical to the large one.

A mini version of Crisis pops out of the chest and starts trying to nom on Paramecium.

I put a very angry neera into the chest.

A ball of Anti-Matter comes out.

I put air into the chest.

Air comes out, but it smells horribly garlicky!

I put a medium half-caf no-foam non-fat vanilla soy latte into the chest.

The cost of one of those at Starbucks comes out. Nyaha rakes in the loot.

I put Ben and Jerry's Late Night Snack into the chest.

I pop out, look around confused, and shrug at Nyaha.

I put a quadratic equation in the chest

Davy Jones's heart rolls out.
I step into the chest.

A dancing dwarf comes out of the chest

I put a swiss roll into the chest

*A big hipped Swedish giantess comes out and eats the roll and you*

I put two great war axes into the chest.

Two great war axes pop out of the chest

I put a pokemon in the chest

A rat with hepatitis comes out of the chest, and bites you.

I put a 10-foot pole into the chest.

A phallic symbol of equal length pops out. Nyaha is disgusted.

Nyaha shoves the ten-foot long phallic symbol back into the chest.

The chest says "ohh yeah, do it like that baby... you really know how to please a chest."
I put a frag grenade in the chest.

Vivian pops out of the chest and winks at you. "What, you were expecting a bombshell? You got one."

I put a Neko in the chest

Out comes a regular looking flat breasted girl cos playing as a neko.

I put my geekyness into the chest.

The Doctor pops out and looks around. "This isn't the TARDIS." O.o

I put this emoticon into the chest

I find a severed tongue in the chest.

I stick my hand into the chest.

You pull out a restraining order, the chest doesn't like how you were touching it.

I put an OC into the chest.

out comes a cloud of CO₂.
I put a bottle of Coke into the chest.

A bottle of cocaine pops out

I put Felarya in the chest

The chest jumps out to eat you.

I put dynamite in the chest.

Masquerade pops out and challenges Nyaha to a BAKUGAN BRAWL!!

I put Kamina shades into the chest.

A Witch from L4D comes out and doesn't like the closeness of you to her, so she does what Witches do best, brutally claw the fuck out of everything in her path to get space, only stopping once everything, or her, is dead.

I put a crowbar in the chest.

You get a bag of flesh and a court order for suspected infanticide.

I place a chimpanzee butler into the box.