Felarya Felarya forum |
|
| Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures | |
|
+19Zephyr102 Solomon AzureJass eusuna parameciumkid hhhat09 W-3-K zersergathant Pendragon Stabs walkingbyself Oldman40k2003 space_samurai TheLightLost Anime-Junkie Archmage_Bael Warrior3000 Reptillian Nyaha 23 posters | |
Do you think my latest character works for Felarya, being a robot? | Yes, I really like her! ^_^ | | 33% | [ 5 ] | Generally Felarya isn't the place for automatons, but you've done relatively well fitting her in. | | 20% | [ 3 ] | Eh, I suppose... | | 20% | [ 3 ] | I don't think Felarya is the place for futuristic robots. | | 7% | [ 1 ] | Kill it with fire! | | 20% | [ 3 ] |
| Total Votes : 15 | | Poll closed |
| Author | Message |
---|
Nyaha Eternal Optimist
Posts : 3845 Join date : 2007-12-09 Age : 31 Location : Canada. ^.^ Goooooo Snow!
| Subject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures Mon Aug 20, 2012 11:17 am | |
| (This character has been removed)
Last edited by Nyaha on Mon Oct 22, 2012 9:46 am; edited 1 time in total | |
| | | Nyaha Eternal Optimist
Posts : 3845 Join date : 2007-12-09 Age : 31 Location : Canada. ^.^ Goooooo Snow!
| Subject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures Sat Oct 20, 2012 12:53 pm | |
|
Last edited by Nyaha on Thu Jul 25, 2013 3:08 pm; edited 13 times in total | |
| | | Zephyr102 Seasoned adventurer
Posts : 154 Join date : 2012-02-02 Location : Probably in front of a screen of some sort
| Subject: Alexia's Profile Sun Oct 21, 2012 11:40 am | |
| So what I'm getting is that she looks a fair bit like this? - Spoiler:
Maybe without clothes (naturally) and with more feathers? You say she has a near-insatiable appetite, but only feeds when she feels like it. That's kind of odd. Does it mean that she will endure hunger for no particular reason? I do hope you actually post a story about her life. As it stands, her bio is sufficient, but there are little things you want to read about in narrative form, like why her friend went into the Miragia Forest and how her interaction with the vampire went. | |
| | | Nyaha Eternal Optimist
Posts : 3845 Join date : 2007-12-09 Age : 31 Location : Canada. ^.^ Goooooo Snow!
| Subject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures Sun Oct 21, 2012 2:30 pm | |
| About that, yes, except a little less hair in the back and without that big flop of hair on the top, and no wing claws.
The reason she endures her hunger is because of shame She's not totally into what she's become, so she holds off for as long as she can. I'll add that into the bio, thank you.
That sounds like a great idea. I think I'll do just that! ^.^ | |
| | | Nyaha Eternal Optimist
Posts : 3845 Join date : 2007-12-09 Age : 31 Location : Canada. ^.^ Goooooo Snow!
| Subject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures Wed Nov 21, 2012 11:20 am | |
| A small update: I have now included each of my female character's (except for Molly) cup size based on this chart. If you think there's a problem with the chart, please don't hesitate to tell me. I'd really like to be as accurate as possible. Enjoy, boob-lovers! ^.^ | |
| | | jedi-explorer Felarya cartographer
Posts : 1474 Join date : 2011-12-06 Age : 36 Location : Fantasy Land ^_^
| Subject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures Sat Jan 12, 2013 5:15 pm | |
| [quote="Nyaha" Name: Molly / Geno [/quote]
Wow Molly and Geno are quite well done characters. I love the backstory one them. It's almost fairy tale like. Then you get to the soul eating part and it's more Grimm's Fairy Tale. ^^; I do like them though! | |
| | | Nyaha Eternal Optimist
Posts : 3845 Join date : 2007-12-09 Age : 31 Location : Canada. ^.^ Goooooo Snow!
| Subject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures Mon Jan 28, 2013 11:20 am | |
| Name: The Techno-Angel Race: Elf Age: 22 Sex: Female Height: 6'0" Hair Colour: Pink Eye Colour: N/A Skin Tone: Fair Predation: Safe
-Appearance- An elf going by the name "The Techno-Angel". She wears highly technologically-advanced armor that covers her from head to toe, with a black body suit that hugs her body quite tight underneath. The armor comes complete with thick forearm protectors, elbow, bicep, shoulder, chest, waist, thigh, and foreleg armor, thick platform boots, and a helmet that covers the top and back of her head. The helmet features a light-blue visor that covers the top-half of her face, but it lets her long, pink hair flow out of the backside, down to the middle of her back. There are a number areas on her helmet and armor that glow a light blue. She is always seen with four disc-like rings that float and rotate around her wrists and ankles, which also glow blue. Finishing her look are the two makeshift wings of metal protruding from the back of her chest armor, which are designed to be telescopic, able to shorten and lengthen as needed. Though she is kind of tall, as elves go she is rather petite, and her body does not have many curves. Cup size A.
-Personality- The Techno-Angel is a self-proclaimed "superhero", who wanders about Felarya in search of things and people who need 'rescuing', no matter who or what they are. Though she tries to look and sound heroic, she more often than not comes off nervous and unsure of herself. The backwards moralities of Felaryans often mix her up, making her question the validity of what she is trying to accomplish constantly. The Techno-Angel is simply inexperienced at life as a whole, being of a relatively young age and having lived the majority of her life sheltered and protected. She does usually mean well, though, and attempts to be honest where she feels comfortable to do so. She always tries to do the right thing, even when what the right thing to do is is a mystery to her. Her word is her law, and she'll do whatever she has to in order to keep a promise. She doesn't deal well with stress, and has a weakness for sweets. She also tends to hold a grudge.
-Background- The Techno-Angel is actually from a future version of Felarya (about 10 years or so). She arrived in the present version through dimensional travels, via portals to and from a different world. While away from Felarya, she was introduced to a different lifestyle than what she had been privileged to have on Felarya (that having been a calm life without worry of survival, living in a town protected by a powerful giantess), and took it upon herself to attempt to do right and help people where she was able in that world. After a few years, and having obtained the powers she currently possesses from that world, she returned to Felarya, only to find that she had wound up in a different time version of her homeworld. Even so, she decided to continue her crusade to help as many people as she could, and try to make their lives a little brighter with her light.
-Abilities- The Techno-Angel can be considered quite powerful ability-wise, boasting numerous boons from her specialized armor and the disk-like rings (referred to as "halos") that she wears around her wrists and ankles. One of her main abilities is flight; her halos are able to carry her around, allowing for free-form flight and levitation (she is seldom seen touching the ground). Her imitation wings can also be used for flight when her halos lose power by employing a form of levitation magic, folding out of a pair of panels attached the back of her armor, though this comes at the cost of maneuverability since she is only able to fly in the direction she's angled using her wings. She can also turn her halos into projectiles which can have either blunt or slicing properties, throwing and launching them towards targets, as well as fire shots of light from them or focus their magic energies into blades of light. The the latter two abilities are able to inflict pain with no physical damage to the target by sending electrical currents through the nerves of whatever part of the target's body was attacked, to pain receptors in the target's brain (thought they do have the ability to cut through energy and darkness/unholy beings). Her armor protects her from physical and magical offenses, but not to a great degree, meaning she has to count on her agility to avoid harm. The heads-up display in her helmet's visor can make many different kinds of observations for her, from reading heat signatures to a person's body language, and the helmet itself acts like a computer of sorts, with various files and information databases which the Techno-Angel can recall as needed. And to top it all off, the Techno-Angel knows a few different light-based magic spells. All of her weapons and armor is powered by magic circuits that feed off the ambient magic energy in Felarya's environment, and if need be, from those of the Techno-Angel herself. The main weakness to her armor is electricity of any sort. In even the smallest quantity, electricity will short out all of the magical circuitry, and the Techno-Angel will lose the vast majority of her powers. If this happens, she'll only have her few magic spells to defend herself with, as she has very little physical ability of her own, and without the power rings to assist her, the armor she wears will weigh her down. There's also the unfortunate fact that her armor gives of a rather large magical signature, making her a rather noticeable presence to those with the predator sense. To a lesser degree, her halos also have a limit, as powerful spells or discharging large amounts of magic energy will cause them to temporarily lose power, making them useless until the armor recharges them.
Last edited by Nyaha on Sat Apr 05, 2014 5:17 pm; edited 6 times in total | |
| | | Nyaha Eternal Optimist
Posts : 3845 Join date : 2007-12-09 Age : 31 Location : Canada. ^.^ Goooooo Snow!
| Subject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures Thu Mar 07, 2013 3:12 pm | |
| Name: Kahina Race: Shakala (Forest)Chrono / Bio Age: 43 / 26 Sex: Female Height: 6'4" Hair Colour: Brown Eye Colour: Pink Skin Tone: Fair Predation: Safe -Appearance- Kahina is the chief currently leading the shakala of the forest. Her hair needles are coloured brown, reaching down to her ankles like most shakala, and her eyes are a glassy pink colour. Her most notable piece of attire is the splendid headdress she wears, made up of an ornate wooden piece shaped like a bird's beak which covers her forehead and large feathers all coloured red with white tips flowing down to her hips. With this, she wears a simple tan coloured animal hide dress, slung over her left shoulder and reaching down to just above the knee. Her body is slender, with a build athletic but not muscular, with a few curves in the hips and torso. -Personality- Kahina is a very gentle person, and unlike her fellow shakala, doesn't enjoy fighting very much (taking part in it; she does enjoy watching other shakala duel). She enjoys the company of people, is able to work well with others, is an excellent listener, and is not easily distracted. She is protective of those close to her, especially the shakala she leads, but is also able to stand back and allow people to protect themselves, knowing the dangers of being overly-nurturing. She does tend to come off a tiny bit superior, despite her best efforts to hide it. She also tends to be perhaps a little too open about her life, and that of others, making her a terrible secret-keeper or liar. Despite this, she manages to be exceptionally manipulative when she wants to be. She enjoys the company of individuals of tiny races, despite the fact it puts her at odds with the other shakala, who generally see them as food before people. -Background- As a young adult, Kahina never showed any enjoyment of combat, let alone any prowess in it. Despite this, and the judgements of other shakala of the time, her parents never once thought bad of her, and attempted to nurture what positive qualities she did have. As time passed bit by bit, however, her parent's love wasn't enough. She yearned for the respect of the other shakala, too. With this in mind, she put her best efforts into her training, attempting to become a talented fighter and hunter, but even that wasn't enough. Defeated and sorrowful, Kahina abandoned the tribe while they were near Negav, and took refuge in the city. Unfortunately, she didn't have any better luck living there, and suffered on the streets of Negav for many weeks, hungry and alone, her natural defense as a shakala the only thing keeping her alive. Once, on a particularly rainy day, when she was at her most vulnerable, she experienced a close brush with death, only to be saved by an opportunistic librarian. In exchange for saving her life, food, and shelter, her put her to work in his library, where she stocked shelves, organized books, assisted readers in finding what they needed, etc.. It wasn't long before she began reading books herself during her free time, becoming knowledgeable about a variety of things. However, the thing that piqued her interest the most was when she noticed strange things happpening around the librarian: floating objects, things moving on their own, and the like. She soon discovered that he had psychic abilities, and implored him to teach them to her. She convinced him by working extra hard, putting in enough effort to do the work of five people twice her age. Afterwards, whenever the opportunity arose, he would teach her how to harness the latent abilities within most people. She began honing her own mind through meditation and various other practices in her free time. Gradually, and through intense training, her mind became a powerful force. This was her life until she was an adult. Then one day, Kahina returned to her home from grocery shopping to find the librarian killed and robbed. Though he had used her to his gain initially, the two had bonded over time, and the event broke Kahina's heart, as if she had lost one of her own parents. After the incident, she departed Negav, a grown woman possessing considerable psionic abilities, but with and returned to her shakala tribe. She was further devastated to find that her birthparents did not recognize her; during her time in Negav, a mistake while trying to use her psychic abilities on her own body had permanently changed her eye colour from brown to pink. At the time, the shakala were in disarray due to the death of the previous chie; eaten while bathing. Frustrated and alone, a still heartbroken Kahina took the opportunity to get the one thing she had always wanted: her tribe's respect. She hoped doing so would help her heal her heart. Demonstrating knowledge, leadership, confidence, an understanding of the people she was to lead, and excellent judgement, she won the respect of her tribe and was elected the new chief. And for the time being, she was at peace once more. -Abilities- Kahina, unlike typical shakala, doesn't rely purely on physical prowess for combat, hunting, and defense from predators. Instead, she relies on the power of her mind, which is much greater. Along with having much wisdom about many things, she also boasts psychic abilities. Typically, rather than use her abilities directly on others, she uses them to control herself - biomancy - adjusting her mind and body to suit different situations. For example, she can weaken her mind's subconscious muscle inhibitors, giving her increased strength, or increase her mind's ability to process information, allowing her to perceive things around her faster and increase her observational ability. In summary, she has near-absolute control over every aspect of her biology. She is able to use telekinesis as well, though avoids using it on living beings in an aggressive manner unless absolutely necessary. As a shakala, she has two large physical weaknesses: fire, and water; the former will ignite her hair, the latter will weigh it down an immobilize her. Psionically speaking, her mind is like a fortress, and assaulting it from the outside would be near-impossible. She does have what some would call a "glass jaw" at norm, though she can remedy this temporarily using her psychic abilities.
Last edited by Nyaha on Sat Nov 08, 2014 11:10 am; edited 3 times in total | |
| | | Mr. I Marauder of the deep jungle
Posts : 328 Join date : 2013-08-07 Location : Chiilin' on Possios' web
| Subject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures Mon Aug 19, 2013 12:17 am | |
| Wow you have a lot of characters. I salute you, sir. | |
| | | Nyaha Eternal Optimist
Posts : 3845 Join date : 2007-12-09 Age : 31 Location : Canada. ^.^ Goooooo Snow!
| Subject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures Mon Aug 19, 2013 11:26 am | |
| ^_^ Hee, yeah, you're right. And thank you! I just hope the quantity doesn't outweigh the quality. :3 | |
| | | Nyaha Eternal Optimist
Posts : 3845 Join date : 2007-12-09 Age : 31 Location : Canada. ^.^ Goooooo Snow!
| Subject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures Sun Oct 06, 2013 12:30 pm | |
| I made some changes to Beryl. I removed all references to her kung-fu and nerve-striking abilities, opting instead for painting-based magic powers. Anyone who is familiar with One Piece and/or Naruto will probably be able to have a good idea of what her powers are like. I decided on them because the combat ability didn't really fit well with the painting ability or her personality, and I don't perceive the abilities I've given her to be cliché at all. If you have a different opinion of this, or any more ideas of what her artistic magic could entail, please comment! Any and all feedback will be greatly appreciated! | |
| | | Nyaha Eternal Optimist
Posts : 3845 Join date : 2007-12-09 Age : 31 Location : Canada. ^.^ Goooooo Snow!
| Subject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures Wed Oct 23, 2013 4:10 pm | |
| Name: Rell Race: Sand MermaidChrono / Bio Age: 102 / 23 Sex: Female Height: 35 feet head to waist Length: 82 feet head to tailfin Hair Colour: Black Eye Colour: Blue Skin Tone: Tanned Scale Colour: Sandy Brown, Black Spots Predation: Opportunistic Food Category: .1 inch to 50+ feet Prefers: N/A -Appearance- Rell is a sand mermaid - the entirety of Akaptor Desert, and sometimes even the surrounding regions, makes up her home. Her tan skin, like most of her kind, blends to an extent with the desert sand, and her hair shines black and clean despite swimming through the sand most of the time. She has a build fairly athletic but not muscular, and has a good set of curves for a mermaid. Her striking blue eyes shine in the sunlight, being the only real varying colour on her. Her tail is long and strong, as any mermaids', blending well with the sand using it's light brown colour, sprinkled with tiny black spots in no particular pattern. She tends to wear a neutral, almost half-asleep and uninterested expression at norm. Cup size CC (relative). -Personality- Rell tends to keep a reserved yet cynical attitude about things, people, and life in general. She's untrusting of strangers for the most part, even when they don't seem to present any danger to her. She enjoys reading books that she finds, even though she has to strain her eyes to read them. She enjoys all kinds of books, including ones about magic, history, or fiction, and because of this, she is very knowledgeable about a variety of subjects, and is always ready to learn more. Towards people she cares about, she can be very warm, helpful, and protective, though she can be somewhat clingy. Her pessimistic, cynical attitude can get the better of her in certain situations, but typically she tries to maintain a cool, aloof demeanor, and hides her true thoughts. She has a soft spot for poetry. -Background- Growing up, Rell had what one might consider a perfect childhood, consisting of a loving family who taught and played with her, letting her make some of her own mistakes and keeping her safe from making others. She had a few friends whom she got along with, spending much of her time either hunting or playing. One day, in her teenage decades, she discovered a buried ruins deep below the sand, and from it, she gathered a large pile of books which she shared with her friends. Intrigued, she studied the tomes fervently, figuring out slowly how to interpret them by comparing them with eachother. She began hoarding them from her friends, who admittedly didn't see the value she saw in them. She taught herself how to read different writings using these and other books she would find buried under the desert sands and would take from travelers, exchanging reading lessons for lives whenever the opportunity arose. Eventually, she got to the point where she devoted all her time to books, neglecting her friends, her family, and her health. At that point, those around her staged a formal intervention, confiscating her books and putting her under strict supervision. She stopped talking to everyone in rebellion, though she did see that they were right to an extent. But to her, these tomes of knowledge were too important. She did make a recovery from her obsession, however, and patched up her relationships with her family and her friends. She did still devote a portion of her time to reading, however, which angered one friend to the point that she destroyed one of Rell's books. Enraged, Rell retaliated violently, and cut all ties with that person, not even giving them a chance to apologize. Severely affected by what she saw as a huge betrayal, Rell wouldn't talk to her other friend either, and eventually grew distant from her, too. She managed to keep a hold on her relationship with her parents, however, which still holds strong to this day, even though she hasn't quite found it in her to really put her trust in anyone else. -Abilities- Being a sand mermaid, Rell has the innate ability to move the sand at will using earth magic. Above everything else, this ability allows her to do as her people do: swim through the sand as if it were water. Beyond this, she can also manipulate the sand for hunting and self-defense purposes. For example, one of her favourite methods of capturing prey is to create a hand as big as her own out of sand with which to grasp it, while keeping her actual body beneath the sand's surface until her prey is caught. She can also use her abilities to move sand dunes, which is useful for hiding and launching surprise attacks, or kick up clouds of dust to confuse potential threats and prey alike. Outside of her magical abilities, Rell also has a large amount of knowledge on a variety of subjects, from hunting techniques to fashion design, history's greatest figures to fairy biology. However, that's not to say she can recall all of it at any given time - her memory is not as powerful as her ability to learn. Rell, as a desert dweller, has an extent of resistance to both fire and heat as well as ice and cold, but her people's weakness to sonic attacks and loud noises still holds with her. She is also not as physically adept as other members of her race. -Diet- As a resident of the desert, Rell is not picky about what she gets to eat. From the smallest insects burrowing through the sand to a harpy if so inclined, anything can find itself on her menu. A sapient prey's chances of getting off her menu vary depending on how hungry she is, as she can be either very determined to get a meal, or very lax about whether or not she gets one based on her hunger. Offering her decent reading material, especially that which she hasn't read before, is a good way to get off her menu no matter what - even when starving, Rell will find it pretty difficult to resist a book. | |
| | | Nyaha Eternal Optimist
Posts : 3845 Join date : 2007-12-09 Age : 31 Location : Canada. ^.^ Goooooo Snow!
| Subject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures Tue Feb 04, 2014 9:57 am | |
| Zelkova's Bio has been updated. :3 She no longer uses any magic, now utilizing weapons. I've described one weapon in particular that should prove effective for a variety of situations. I've changed her appearance to suit this as well. Any thoughts on the new changes would be appreciated. | |
| | | Nyaha Eternal Optimist
Posts : 3845 Join date : 2007-12-09 Age : 31 Location : Canada. ^.^ Goooooo Snow!
| Subject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures Fri Sep 11, 2015 7:39 pm | |
| So I just noticed, uh, my character thread has over 10,000 views. o.o; So, uh, thanks to everyone who's been interested in my characters! =^_^= I put a lot of effort into making them interesting, and it means a lot to me that they've been getting so much attention! I feel like doing something special. What I'm going to do is, for anyone that comments on this thread with a bit of detailed feedback on one of my characters, even if it's just to the effect of telling me something you like or don't like and why you like or dislike it (I'd like at least a few sentences here), I'll try to write one short story focusing on a character of your choice, including one of mine, one of your own creation, or one made by someone else that you like. The short stories will hopefully come out something like this: http://tanoshiiatsu.deviantart.com/art/A-Dance-of-Warriors-335009221 They'll be something like this, a single scene of the character of your choice doing a thing. I will be in contact with each person who takes me up on this offer to determine which character the short will focus on and what they might be doing, as well as doing follow-ups to make sure I captured each character properly. I'll be accepting entries until September 20th, though that may change depending on level of demand. Thank you again, everyone! | |
| | | Mr. I Marauder of the deep jungle
Posts : 328 Join date : 2013-08-07 Location : Chiilin' on Possios' web
| Subject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures Sat Sep 12, 2015 12:33 am | |
| About Beryl, I love the fact that she is a fellow boob lover ^o^ and her artistic skills are quite unique among the characters we've seen so far, and the hat is a nice touch XD But how does she keep all these paintings around? It must be a bit cumbersome to carry them all around all the time.
I think we even did an RP where she tried to paint Poss and she got -really- pissed when she moved. | |
| | | Jormungdang Great warrior
Posts : 491 Join date : 2015-02-12 Age : 34 Location : Wrapped around the world
| Subject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures Sun Sep 13, 2015 9:14 am | |
| In particular, I love Kahina. Her abilities sound quite useful, and remind me of a story I read. Though I forget the name, I remember the main character had a similar ability to Kahina's muscle inhibitor. It dealt with lifting the restrictions of pain, pain being the thing that prevents beings from becoming monsters. However, shouldn't this ability have reverse affects as well? The limits are in place for a reason afterall, and to forgo them requires making yourself more prone to injury. | |
| | | Amaroq Great warrior
Posts : 470 Join date : 2008-07-19 Age : 36
| Subject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures Sun Sep 13, 2015 9:55 am | |
| Review for Kahina, the Shakala.
Appearance: You called her a Shakala, a being also named as kowo-neko, or, if you ask me, hedgehogs. To my understanding, she is a human with spikey, long hair, indicated by the fact she is capable of wearing clothes. The hair is protruding from her head as usual, I assume. Now, with hair so long it reaches to her ankles, and it being super hard in order to be used as a weapon, I would like to know how she can actually move around without tearing both her clothes, AND environment to shreds. I recommend changing the hair into something that can be hardened using some nerve impuls, rather than them staying hard at all times. Also, the ability to roll into an all defense ball is all nice, but then she needs that special hair protruding from her torso and legs and arms as well. Since usually rolling into a ball includes tugging away your vulnerable head, its impossible for you to form anything like a ball with needles into all directions. Pink eyes? that's something unusual, though not bad. :3 The rest of her description is relatively generic, nothing positive nor negative to say here. You might want to add: Physical strength, scars, wounds, tattoos, stuff that makes her body unique other than the racial hair.
Personality: Why does she not enjoy fighting? Did something in the past cause her to be so much different from the others? also, if shes so gentle, how does she gain the respect of her fellow shakala (a fighter species?) and gets accepted as the leader of a tribe that specializes in hunting, fighting and a overall nomadic, tribal life? You mention later that she has psychic abilities, is that alone the reason she got her tribes leadership? Other than that, she has a too perfect personality. She's superior to a common person and her only notable personality flaw is that she knows (and shows) it. The other flaw of being too honest is immediately outvalued by the fact she can be manipulative on command, which makes little sense, seeing how a character flaw is something you shouldnt be able to turn off by going serious mode. So some bad side of her personality should be put in there as well. I do that with my OCs too, Dalia is a coward and arrogant, Narame is cold blooded and doesnt care about her allies lifes, Anara... Well, shes an evil succubus out to hurt people, and even Juliana my angel is being extremely zealous and unforgiving with any evil and its collaborateurs, despite being of a rather friendly and lovely nature. Lastly, is there a reason she doesnt view tinies as food? And why doesnt she protect tinies form her tribe then, effectively banning eating tinies? I think she's kind of in a double morale spot here, where she doesnt kill tinies, but doesnt mind her tribe doing so.
Background: Reading the background now, I like the amount of detail you put in here. The story is reasonable and explains some questions from earlier. However, I feel like the story again doesnt leave any flaws on her. All bad things happening arent really her guilt, and all in all, it appears you really try to make the reader like her and feel sympathy for her. If thats what you aimed for, its fine, if not, then you might want to build in some bad sides as well. The mentioning of her eyes turning pink seemed pretty off though, as if to handwave some unnatural phenomenon. maybe just make them pink per default? I dont see how a spell of psychic (!) abilities permanently changes the colour hue of your retina. YOu might want to add a lot of struggle to get her tribes respect. Shes been absent for YEARS if not decades, and suddenly, the tribe leader dies, she comes out of nowhere and is totally understanding and caring for people she hasnt seen in the most time of her life? Here you could really put in some struggle and conflict for her to gain respect and climb the ranks again, because when she joins them, she should be considered an outcast at first, it being a tribal, close-knit community and all. She shouldnt even be able to KNOW her kinsmen at first, yet alone understand their thinking, seeing how she spent most of her life among negavians. So theres a lot of unused potential here.
Abilities: Abilities seem fine for the most part, nothing to ciritizise here. You might want to point out her physical capabilities as well, and maybe add some weaknesses other than water and fire, such as a weak body, or prone to injuries when not using her abilities to empower herself, or her body really being wrecked due to the strain she puts on them. Inhibitors do have a purpose after all, to prevent you from damaging yourself. turning those off does make you use your body to a higher potential, but at the cost of self preservation. You should add that.
thats about it. Other than the things I mentioned, i like the character for what and who she is. :3 | |
| | | Nyaha Eternal Optimist
Posts : 3845 Join date : 2007-12-09 Age : 31 Location : Canada. ^.^ Goooooo Snow!
| Subject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures Wed Mar 02, 2016 9:34 am | |
| I'm getting into the process of updating all my characters bios. I have decided to begin with the one character who I feel has become a lot deeper than her original bio let on, as she was initially intended just to be a fetish machine for use whenever things got sexy. As she's developed so much since inception, I feel it's only right to give her a much more fleshed out bio. Niela's bio has been updated. https://felarya.forumotion.com/t1920p75-nyaha-s-various-characters-and-creatures#103689There's one thing I'd like to know from anyone who likes reading bios: Do you think that having a section dedicated to describing some of what has happened to her in RPs would be a good idea? Since she's developed so much through RP, her 'story' version isn't the same as her 'RP' version, which can create a strange dissonance for anyone reading her bio, expecting one thing, and getting another once they start RPing with her. But at the same time, I don't know if that would just be more wall of text to slog through and make a bigger barrier to reading it all, or whether it would have any other unintended side effect. Please let me know! | |
| | | Sponsored content
| Subject: Re: Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures | |
| |
| | | | Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures | |
|
Similar topics | |
|
| Permissions in this forum: | You cannot reply to topics in this forum
| |
| |
| |
|