Nyaha's Various Characters and Creatures

Sorry this hasn't shown up sooner. I thought I'd posted this a few days ago, only to check back today and find that it didn't go through for whatever reason. Not much of a loss, to be honest; even after reading the last few bios, I'm sorry to say I don't have much in the way of feedback. They're all pretty solid so far as I can see- nice work, by the way!- but nothing's really jumping out at me.
I do have two comments, however:
1 - I really like Exilon! She's fun and creative, I think. Musician characters are always nice.
2 - The bit in Niela's bio about her being able to seduce potential struck me as a little off. As someone said before on another bio in another thread, if people in Felarya were so easily taken by a pretty face, there'd be nobody left.

Thank you for getting back to me! ^.^ I was wondering when I would get to hear from you. Thank you very much for the compliments. ^_^ I'll look into what you said about Niela.

Nyaha wrote:

Thank you for getting back to me! ^.^ I was wondering when I would get to hear from you. Thank you very much for the compliments. ^_^ I'll look into what you said about Niela.

Not a problem! The thing with Niela isn't really that big of an issue, it's just that one would think that in a world of hot giant monster babes constantly out to get you, one would become kind of numb to sex appeal. I mean, it works for Vivian, but she has hypnosis as well. Again, it's not a big problem, but yeah, you might want to think it through a little more.

Name: Caldswell Southsmith
Race: Neko
Gender: Male
Chrono/Bio Age: 60/34
Height: 7'4"
Hair Colour: Black
Fur Colour: Black
Eye Colour: Blue
Predation: Safe


Caldswell is a neko man who lives in Nekomura, travelling to Negav every so often for food, to sell something, etc.. His most notable feature is his thick, grizzly beard on his chin and jawline. He has a large, muscular build, making for a rather intimidating yet, to some, gentle-seeming appearance. He wears a smoothed, olive green dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his biceps, with a brown vest with pockets over top. He tucks his shirt into a pair of well-fitted, light brown slacks, which appear pressed and well taken care-of, which are held up by a belt with a few satchels and pockets hanging off, and finishes off the look with average adventurer's leather boots. The containers on his belt hold tools and emergency equipment, as well as thing for everyday use. His arms sport black stripes that don't appear to be in any particular pattern, which resemble battle scars. His black hair is short and little bit unkempt, and he has gentle, yet strong blue eyes.

Caldswell is a kind, generous and understanding man, with years of social and survival experience. Despite his slightly intimidating appearance, he tries to be quite a pleasure to talk to, and has a good sense of humor to boot. Despite all these good qualities, he leads a rather lonely life, having fallen into a sort of depression after his daughter left Nekomura. The fact that he gets to see her every so often when she returns to Negav for supplies and food is one of the few things that keeps him going. When push comes to shove, Caldswell also proves himself to be a determined  man who will go to many length to get something done. Among Caldswell negative character traits are the fact that he can be quite indecisive, though he usually does a good job of hiding it, and that he tends to have a facetious attitude towards serious events, be he involved in them or talking about them. He also hides a resentment to giant nagas. He's not good with similes, metaphors, or other similar phrases, and is very picky about the food he eats. It is also notable that he has an irrational fear of nets, as from his many years at sea seeing fish caught in them, as well as a trauma he suffered in one of them, he believes without an iota of doubt that nets are inescapable, despite having seen men escape from them with blades many times in the past. It may also be worth noting that he has no eye for women.

In his youth, Caldswell was a hardy, if headstrong man who sailed the rivers and seas of Felarya under numerous captains on numerous vessels, and learned to perform many jobs aboard a ship quite well. He was not a good decision-maker, however, and he only survived so long due to the efforts of many people around him helping him out of many fixes he got himself into. One day, he met a woman with striking red hair and purple eyes, who later became his wife, and together they settled down in his hometown of Nekomura. Eventually, the two of them had a daughter together, who they named Kira Southsmith. To support this new family, Caldswell became an author, and wrote works of fiction based on his many adventures on the seas, and became quite a well-respected author at that. Almost a year after the child's birth, however, Caldswell's loving wife was lost in an attack on the village by a certain giant naga, sparking his resentment of the species altogether. He went on, though, strong, for his daughter, so that she may grow up to be strong as well. He taught her many things as she grew, such as survival tactics, combat maneuvers, and eventually, technological machinations he learned during his time on ships. These days, he spends most of his time continuing to write his books, waiting for days when his daughter returns to Nekomura to visit.

Caldswell's main physical strength is, well, his physical strength. Indeed, his muscles, especially his upper body, is well-developed and muscular, and his wardrobe usually shows this to some extent. Despite his large stature, he moves with the kind of agility common to nekos, making for a lethal combination of strength and speed. Not only that, but his days on the seas have also made him quite cunning. His time on boats also made him a skilled crewman, and a half-decent captain. He's generally pretty good with his hands, as well, and is a skilled carpenter, cook, and even knitter. However, he is not very good with weaponry of any kind, nor is he skilled with magic. He has very little defense against either, though weapons (close-range, that is) are easier for him to defend himself against than magic.

I would just like to notify potential reviewers that I have made numerous changes to some of my characters' bios, and I would like to request some feedback on them. I also haven't gotten much feedback on my newer characters, either, so I'd like that, too, ideally. I would like to note that while positive comments are good, I much prefer matter-of-fact criticism: All I want is to be told what the problems are, and perhaps ideas to correct them. That's all I really need. No hateful comments, please and thank you.

The characters I have updated most recently are:
Nyaha's Bio
Kira's Bio
Taihaku's Bio
Colin's Bio

Beryl's Bio is here: [link]

And all other bios can be found on page 4

Critique of; https://felarya.forumotion.com/t1920-nyaha-s-various-characters-and-creatures#59716

Well, you know, looking at this now and seriously thinking over the matter, I find that this isn't actually that bad of a character. The revisions you have made to his given personality serve to make it far less of an outright mary-sue. That may be the prime thing that has helped to make this character really become bearable, the flaws in the personality. His kindness and naivety work against him as often as for, and his cheeriness and acceptance make him offended by people with prejudices or opinions he regards as negative. The qualities are human and by extension likable, as all of us are inherently flawed in nature, so the audience is able to relate. I'm particularly fond of his tendency to overreact when flustered, because its a rather immature little habit that I myself have. You've made very notable and good progress as far as instilling your characters with personalities goes.


The shirt, however, isn't something I'm as partial to. I think it's a bit too convenient as a device due to the seemingly infinite capacity for carrying objects it has. With something like that on his person at all times, the character would have little trouble producing something of use in most conflicts or other situations that would demand it, effectively removing a great deal of the tension of a true struggle to survive, which is a big part of Felarya in my eyes. However, I will admit that the complaint here is one part my opinion and another part pure possibility. If you could write it well enough so that the conflict stems from something other than outside forces that can be easily counter acted by the shirt, then it would be perfectly acceptable, provided you could do that, of course. I do recognize that it can be destroyed, but what has to be understood is that given the abilities it has, such a thing wouldn't be a particularly easy matter.

Also, I've made note of the fact that this revision of the bio is lacking in a backstory, though that might actually be an improvement in itself due to some of the issues contained within previous iterations of the story as I had seen it. Without that though, this is effectively a description of a shirt and his (Not bad) personality, and it feels as though something of importance is absent. A backstory within a biography is, in my opinion, important for a few reasons; Firstly, it is a means by which to explain the origin of the character, obviously, and sometimes useful, given the context, for showing the means through which they arrived in Felarya should they not be a native. Secondly, a proper backstory often includes important events within the life of the character that help the reader to understand why it is the character may possess some of their personality traits. Any traumatic experiences, for instance, that are shown could serve as the given reason for a particular aspect of a character's personality. It's convenient and helps makes sense of things. Nice to have all around, really. However, I am going to conjecture that you have left this without one for the sake of making revisions to it or explaining it within the story itself or something of that sort.

With all that done, I'll just flatly state my opinion as it stands now; Pretty good. There is space for more substance and improvement upon what is already done, of course, but in relation to what I've seen in the past, you've done well.

Nyaha wrote:

I've done a lot of reworking of Zelkova, so I'm reposting her bio. I hope that anyone who sees this will leavea helpful comment. ^_^
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Name: Zelkova
Race: Giant Mermaid
Gender: Female
Bio/Chrono Age: 18 / 62
Length: 210 ft
Skin: Green
Scales: Green
Hair: Blond
Eyes: Blue
Predation: Highly Specialized
Food Category: 3-20 feet. Perefers: Humans, seagull harpies

Zelkova is a mermaid who lives in the Topazial Sea. She has oceany-green skin and scales, blond hair tied in a ponytail, and a sparkling blue eye. However, her most striking feature is the eyepatch she wears on the left side of her face, made of black fabric and held on by a brown strap. She also wears a necklace with different kinds of seashells on it, the most striking one being a sparkling red 'half-a-broken-heart-'shaped shell situated in the middle of the cable. She also wears many bags and pockets strapped criss-cross to her tail.

Zelkova is very tomboyish, liking to use a lot of hip lingo like 'dude' and 'shizznit'. She's usually pretty content with herself and with life, though she has a low attention span and tends to jump around from topic to topic. One thing Zelkova has a love for is seashells of all kinds, and she has a rather impressive collection of them hidden somewhere in the Topazial Sea. Zelkova does, however, have a very sadistic and destructive side to her that often comes out around humans, a liking for which she has not, and she loves to destroy any ships she sees. When she gets into the swing of things, or becomes enraged, her instincts take over and she loses control, wanting only to destroy everything in sight. These lapses in judgement happen frequently, though they don't last long, and she can usually manage to keep herself in check when she's around friends.

When Zelkova was little, her parents were kidnapped by a group of unwell-meaning mermaids, intent on selling their scales to humans to make a profit. During the event, Zelkova also lost her left eye to one of the group who wielded a harpoon-like weapon. Friends of Zelkova's and of her parents, as well as her ichthys protector, soon came in response to Zelkova's sad mermaid songs, but by that time the ship was long gone. However, they were able to use a certain type of seashell and some medical supplies that fell from a ship to patch up Zelkova's eye, so that she didn't die of blood loss. Some time after the incident, Zelkova happened upon a sparkling red seashell that was in the shape of half of a broken heart, and she saw it as a reflection of the state her own heart was in at the time. She thought that perhaps, if she could somehow locate the other half of this shell, she'd have a chance of being able to patch up her own heart as well, and thus began her seashell collection.

Zelkova is not a typical mermaid. Rather than using her voice to lure in sentient prey, she takes a more direct approach in attacking any ships, land-goers, or harpies she spots relentlessly. Zelkova does not have the same long froggish tongue that others of her kind have, and to boot that, she knows extremely little magic. However, she makes up for these shortcomings by having above-average physical ability, able to swim very fast and strong and able to jump out of the water and reach incredible heights. She can also punch a hole straight through most types of ships, even a few that have metal hulls. But strength alone is not enough to survive in Felarya. Thus Zelkova also makes use of many different types of seashells, which she carries around in the pockets strapped to her tail, some of which have special or magical properties. One skill she has with many types of seashells is the ability to throw them like ninja stars, making them curve through the air before they hit their mark. Zelkova can aslo throw seashells underwater, using a type of magic taught to her to control their movement, able to propel them farther, turn them in mid-'flight', and make them return to her. However, due to her low magic ability, the spell only works on shells she's touched, and above water, she can only make shells come back to her. Some seashells explode, others can create whirlpools when used properly, and still others simply have sharp edges or points. Zelkova can make excellent use of these shells, and is prepared for many situations while she has them. She also knows how to create makeshift weapons by gluing shells together using a type of naturally-occurring waterproof adhesive that certain seashells produce, and can wield both swords and spear-type weapons made from shells and coral pieces.

Zelkova's appetite is quite large, but can be quenched by many things, including fish, humans, and even sweet-tasting goop that grows on the bottom of some types of seashells, though her favourite food is seagull harpies, as not only do they taste great, but they provide excellent physical exercise for her. However, she can be quite merciless towards humans, given the fact they were involved in the abduction of her parents, and often likes to kill them in different ways, sometimes sexual, before eating them. Though under some circumstances a human could prove themselves 'cool enough to hang with Zelky', prey species like nekos and elves generally have a better time getting off Zelkova's lunch menu. However, Zelkova is very open to accepting bribes of seashells in exchange for lives, regardless of race, and this is one of the main methods of survival to use around her. However, according to Zelkova, exchange rates vary, and some seashells are worth more than others. Depending on size, rarity, colour, sheen, and usefulness, certain seashells may only allow one or two people to be let free, while others can account for an entire ship's crew. The farther away from the Topazial Sea the seashell can be found, the more valuable it is to Zelkova, and this goes double for shells that can only be found in the Shimmering Sea. Zelkova also has one other skill that makes her especially dangerous; she can move well on land. Using her physical prowess, as well as her 'never-give-up' attitude, she can drag, twist, and roll around on land, making for a very deadly predator. If you're on land, however, the best thing to do to avoid Zelkova is to camouflage yourself. Only having one eye, Zelkova doesn't have exactly the best eyesight of any predator in Felarya, and is easily fooled by tricks like camouflage or smoke screens.

So this is the Tomboy who CHEWED ME LIKE GUM ;_;
Alright, I didnt know that she can roll around on land, im glad she got bored of chewing me life beef jerky rather quickly,
and the crushing didnt help
One question, why does she not harbor a distrust of other mermaids? Mermaids aided the abduction of her mother.
She was going to flay me too...
Im scared

Thank you for your assessment Warrior and yes, I removed the backstory mainly to work on it.

Hat, that is a great point you bring up. I messed up when I didn't realize that changing one thing, especially in a characters' backstory, would serve to change other things about them. I'll look into it.

EDIT: I made a few changes, as per your point, Hat, and to answer your question, she doesn't dislike all mermaids because she knows not all of them can be bad. After all, if they were, then how is it possible she could be so awesome? ;3 (<--- Zelkova's thinking)

Name: Brine
Race: Sea krait naga-meiramis mix
Gender: Female
Chrono/Bio Age: 65 / 18
Length: 234 feet
Skin: Light, Fair
Scales: Deep blue base, pale blue spots, wavy red lines running length of tail, yellow underbelly
Hair: Jet black
Eyes: Yellow
Predation: Safe

-Appearance-
Brine is a sea krait naga who lives in the Topazial Sea. Her hair is jet black, long, and silky, with strands of seaweed intertwined in it. Her calm-looking eyes are yellow and, like all sea nagas, pupil-less. Unlike most nagas of her race, instead of having a small fin at the tip of her tail, she has a ribbon running down the top of her tail, somewhat like an eel, as a result of crossbreeding between a large meiramis mermaid and a sea krait naga. Her tail scales are a mix of a deep blue base, pale blue spots, with two squiggly red lines running the length of her tail - one on each side - and bright yellow underbelly scales. Like many giant species, she wears no clothing to speak of, though she does have large coral earrings in the shape of sharp hooks. She also wears a belt with a bag on it to carry any seashells and such that she comes across. Her body has a healthy weight to it, especially in the hips and tail, though it does make her look slightly chubby in the abdominal region. Her tail is quite weighty as well. She has a very gentle face and often wears a calm expression. Her voice is soft and melodic, personifying her subtle personality. Cup size H.

-Personality-
Brine is usually a very kind and calm sea naga, who is known to have a great capacity for empathy. Though she tends to be rather nervous when she talks to strangers, she easily sympathizes with those around her and can feel the pain of others as if she was walking in their footsteps. This part of her personality is taken a step further, however, due to a curse that was placed on her as a child. The curse causes her to feel the surface emotion(s) of anyone she comes into physical contact with. If they are feeling angry, or sad, Brine, too, will become angry or sad, and for the same reasons, too. The curse works as a double-edged sword for Brine, as it allows her to feel the joy of those around her better, and she can use it to empathize with people on an exceptionally deep level, but it also forces her to take on the pain and negative of others as well, even someone who accidentally bumps into her. She has become accustomed to the mental strain the curse puts on her, and can usually shake off any unintended instances of contracting negative emotion. She does tend to be a bit of a pushover in social situations due to her passive nature. She can get upset on her own, however, if someone forces her to feel something she doesn't want to, or takes advantage of her curse, or causes someone close to her a large amount of pain. However, she is not violent by nature, so one would not typically suffer physical repercussions from her for making her angry. She doesn't like to see her friends get hurt, but usually feels too powerless to protect them. As an interesting note, her parents named her after Brine Lake, a locale in the deep sea known for being a serene place of relaxation for many.

-Background-
When Brine was a young sea naga, her best friend Zelkova had her parents taken away from her by other mermaids. As her friend sunk into despair and depression, Brine found that nothing she did could help her friend feel better about anything, not even giving Zelkova her favourite seashell to use as an eyepatch. She eventually fell into a depressed state due to a combination of despair and how her friend had been treating her. But she didn't want to give up on her childhood friend. One day, she wandered the underwater city, desperate for a way to help her, but was lured in by a mermaid with evil intentions due to having been slighted by the still rageful Zelkova, and she placed a curse on Brine that turned her into an extremely sensitive empath, forcing her have to feel her friend's pain as her own. All this heaped upon her was too much, and she found herself wallowing in a pit of darkness and negative emotions, until one day, her friend came to her anew, content and calm, letting Brine to feel nothing but her overpowering positivity. Together, they helped each other get through their troubles, Zelkova supplying Brine with as many positive feelings as she could until Brine learned to control the curse that had been placed upon her and stop it from pulling in the emotions of everyone around her.

-Abilities-
Aside from her empath powers, Brine is an innate user of nature magic, with which she has the power to control plants like seaweed and algae, and is able to channel nutrients from her own body into them to make them more resilient. She has also learned basic skills with water magic, as per her affinity for it as a sea krait naga, and is also a proficient user of healing magic, which often involves her channeling nutrients from her own body through plants and into the body of whatever she's healing. This use of her own nutrients is one reason why she keeps a healthy girth on her body. When hunting, she can grow and control the seaweed around her, including the strands in her hair, to ensnare her targets for easy catching. She can also alter the water current in her immediate vicinity to increase her speed. For defense, she can combine the use of seaweed with the sharp hook earrings she wears, creating a 'hook-and-chain' weapon that she can use from a distance. Underwater, she can employ two methods of using this weapon; either using her magic to control where the hook goes, or swimming around and allowing the hook to follow her. The former method is also usable above water, and can also swing the hook around in a rather violent-looking style. However, she generally only uses these techniques against non-sapient beings, or when her life or that of someone close to her is in serious danger. It would, however, not be unlike her to use it when under the influence of someone else's angry or violent emotions. Unfortunately, Brine can be made pretty well incapacitated if her opponent, if sapient, can get a hold of her and stay in physical contact with her, and supply her with apathetic or otherwise inhibiting emotions. However, if an angry or worked up person grabs her, she can become agitated and put up an even better fight, so exercise caution of you intent to employ this tactic against her.

-Diet-
Due to her curse, Brine is completely unable to feed on sapient prey, otherwise she would end up feeling the negative emotions they feel at the prospect of becoming food. Thus, her diet is mainly comprised of fish and certain edible vegetation that grows underwater. When around her friend Zelkova (or any other man-eating pred), she can be persuaded to eat sapient prey, given that Zelkova can use her own emotions to overpower those of their prey. Otherwise, Brine is essentially harmless to any living, feeling person.

Well, that was actually rather good, great even. I think you really hit the intended mark this time.

Even with my rather discerning eye (I would like to believe I have one, anyway) I was unable to immediately find any flaws, and had to think for a while to find anything that would serve as a legitimate problem within the bio as a whole. That being said, I would like to address the one thing that did catch my eye; It feels like there is something close to a contradiction between her nature and some of her abilities and standard courses of action. Throughout her description, you emphasize repeatedly her passiveness, to the point that she feels too powerless to actually defend her friends or retaliate for anyone afflicting her with a negative emotion against her own volition. However, when you go on to describe her abilities, you make her out as quite self defense capable, going so far as to label her fighting style violent. Violent and passive don't really mesh well, especially in this instance in which it has been mentioned that she often doesn't feel able to defend those around her. Still, it doesn't detract greatly from anything, and it would be easily resolved by clarifying the circumstances beneath which she will take action and the degree to which that action goes. You could say, for instance, "She tends to only fight with nonsentient beings" (Which would make sense to me personally, given that her ability only functions in the cases of sentient creatures) or "She will defend herself if it is absolutely necessary". Just an additional statement to really make her inherent passive nature blend better with her defensive capabilities. Even that much might not be completely necessary; I'm willing to admit that I just might not be right here, the bio is really so well done I'm not certain of if my own complaint is really appropriate.

That's basically it. This is, in relation to what you've done in the past and what a lot of people continue to do now, a stunning piece of work, and it's very clear that you're developing for the better. The little quirks your characters tend to have are notably toned down and more sensible. Her empathy related ability doesn't seem entirely silly, anyway. It's a good personality, an ability that would make for quite an interesting read if used in a story, and a fair background.

Good job.

I hope someone makes something bad. All this being favorable in my critiques really doesn't get me going as much.

I truly appreciate your fair assesment, and I have to say, either you've gotten better at giving critiques with less hateful undertones, if you even ever did do that, or I've just gotten better at handling criticism. Or maybe it's just because of the praise I'm getting this time. XD Either way, I feel much more willing to accept what you're saying to me.

I see your point in how her defensive abilities contradict her personality, and I agree. I'll go ahead and sort that out.

Name: Kira Southsmith
Race: Neko
Gender: Female
Age: 18
Height: 5'9"
Fur Colour: Black
Hair Colour: Black
Eye Colour: Purple
Predation: Opportunistic
Food Category: 0-7 inches. Prefers: Neeras

-Appearance-
Kira is a neko who lives in Safe Harbor. Her jet black hair is always very messy, as she never takes any time to brush it, and she has sharp-looking purple eyes. She wears a black t-shirt torn at the neckline, arms, and bottom of the torso, that's short enough to show her navel, as well as a plaid skirt, and blue jeans with holes ripped in them. She wears black, heavy boots with steel toes and heels, and special brown leather work gloves with metal plates attached to the backs of the palms. Her skin is very pale, as she doesn't get much sunlight. She is seldom seen not wearing her gloves, and she often sleeps wearing them too. She also often gets grease stains on her face and arms, which she usually neglects to wipe away. Cup size B.

-Personality-
Kira is shut-in and antisocial, usually preferring the company of machine parts, gadgets, and metal scraps over that of people. She has a bad temper, and is rather irritable to boot. She has a tough-girl attitude, and greatly dislikes the idea of someone else controlling her or her life. She tends to act rather tomboyish, punching people that irritate her and hitting guys that compliment her looks, especially concerning her shapely rear. She's very prone to making sarcastic remarks, too, though there is often a hidden element of humor to them. Even so, she's not a horrible person to be around when you get to know her. She's a great person to have around when you have enemies nearby, as she'll always come to the defense of someone she cares about, in both physical and verbal situations. If someone comes to her with a problem, she'll use whatever means at her disposal to solve it, partly out of pride in herself. She's also very honest, both about herself and about others. She has a bad habit of giving too much information when she gets flustered, which also makes her a terrible secret-keeper. She considers herself a break in many molds, that of both nekos and girls, and takes initiative to not be like other people, which is one reason, she claims, she seldom brushes her hair. However, it's likely more because she has a lazy streak. Despite claiming that she 'doesn't give a damn' what other people think of her, she does put a considerable effort in keeping up her image. Aside from mechanics, she is also talented in carpentry and sewing - basically anything that involves working with one's hands.

-Background-
When she was only a year old, a giant naga attacked her home village of Nekomura. Her mother was one of the people that were eaten. Luckily, her father and herself managed to stay alive. After losing his wife, her father took to Kira as his most precious treasure. Because of this, Kira had a rather spoiled upbringing; though her father did teach her that she must work hard and earn what she gets, he was very lenient on the attitude problems she developed due to not having a mother, which is why she is the way she is. Over the years, her father taught her everything, such as how to hunt, fight, read, write, sew, and even cook. Around the age of six, she showed talent in inventing and making working machinations. Her first accomplishment was a tiny catapult that fired rocks out of the window of her house. From then, her father helped her develop her skills, having had talent for it himself. With his guidance, she quickly grew into a very talented carpenter-mechanic. When she was 13 years old, she met a young boy neko who had just lost his mother a few months before, and he has helped her become a slightly more tolerant person. The two quickly became best friends. At the age of sixteen, a man visiting Nekomura caught wind of Kira's abilities and saw them for himself, and offered her a job at Safe Harbor. She accepted, and travelled there with him and his group. Along the way, they were attacked, and her bad attitude got them in a heap of trouble. She and a few others managed to survive just barely, and it taught Kira a harsh lesson; that she can't simply take her feelings out on everyone around her. Since then, she's lived in Safe Harbor for about three years.

-Abilities-
While her main skill is working with mechanics, she is also learning magic and alchemy, and is generally good with her hands overall, possessing skills in knitting and carpentry as well. Kira's mind is creative to a degree, and she possesses a variety of custom-made weaponry and gadgetry.  Kira wears a pair of brown leather work gloves that she developed herself. They take stat-changing spells cast on metal plates that are attached to the backs of the palms and apply them to her, the wearer. She usually wears strength-enhancing plates that up her physical power by 50% each, meaning that she's twice as strong as she would be without them (her lifting limit without enhancement is around 180 lbs). This allows her to lift heavy objects and weapons, and deliver extremely damaging blows. The gloves also have metal claws concealed in the tips of the fingers. Kira is also learning rule-based, lighting element magic from her father. She currently knows two spells, the first being the 'Lightning Arrow' spell. It's a simple spell; the only ritual needed to enact the spell is to summon the magic from inside one's body using a dipping and rising motion, after which it can be fired as a relatively straight, electric projectile. Kira's aim with the spell is below par, however, and her maximum range with it is only about 8 feet away, after which the spell dissipates. The second spell she knows is called "Nature's Wrath", which summons lightning from above to strike a target, and is performed by speaking the phrase, "Let nature's wrath strike from the heavens down to the land below." Unfortunately, Kira is not very skilled with this attack; she can only call lightning down to the spot where she's standing. This poses a big drawback to the spell, of course, but Kira will still use it as a last-ditch sacrificial attack if necessary (or suitably enraged). Kira cannot use her magic if her body gets wet. If she attempts to, she'll electrocute herself and deal a major amount of damage to herself. She also has problems controlling her magic, such as sneezing causes her to become unable to perform her spells at all for a period of time, essentially 'shorting out' her magic after performing an electrical discharge. She is also slower than other nekos in general, be it in climbing or running.

Name: Kinara
Race: Shakala (Forest)
Gender: Female
Age: 25
Height: 6'3"
Skin Tone: Fair
Hair Colour: Deep Forest Green
Eye Colour: Brown
Predation: Opportunistic
Food Category: tinies 0.5 - 4 inches, animals 2 - 18 feet prefers: duikers

-Appearance
Kinara is a member of the forest shakala, symbolized by her green hair, and as such, she travels with her people around the forests and jungles of the central, southern, and northern regions of the main continent of Felarya. Her hair is just as voluminous and spiky-looking as any other shakala’s, in a deep shade of green and reaching down to her ankles. She has yellow face and body paint on her cheeks, neck and shoulders. She wears a brown leather brassiere over her chest and a grass skirt with nothing underneath. She usually wears no form of footwear, though sometimes dons armor made of hardened animal hides. Cup size C.

-Personality-
Kinara is a very rambunctious shakala. Above anything else, she loves to fight, even if it's just an argument, which makes her quite truculent in most situations. She uses it as a way to judge character in people she meets, and though it isn't always correct, it seems to be accurate enough for her. She does have a bad habit of talking for people she knows, getting them in trouble by doing things like making bets on their part. Despite her fiery nature, she usually adopts a very relaxed attitude; she doesn’t take things personally, she can laugh at jokes made at her expense, and she can admit when she’s wrong with ease. She takes her duty as a protector of her tribe very seriously. Part of her job is to make sure that no outsiders eavesdrop when the shakala hold meetings about where they will travel to next. To do this, she won’t hesitate to kill even someone she considers a good friend. She’s also sworn to assist any shakala she sees that is in danger, though she sometimes applies this to members of other races as well. Her boastful nature can sometimes cause her to get in over her head, and she can come off as rather arrogant. She also has an addiction to gambling, which, whether it be with money or with life, can cause Kinara a great deal of problems. Fortunately for her, the luck of the draw has kept her alive through most of the things she brings upon herself.

-Background-
As a young adult, Kinara was already well on her way to becoming a fierce warrior, skilled with spears and her innate magical ability. She lived with the forest shakala tribe as she always had, her older brother being her role model and caretaker as their parents had left many years earlier as envoys to the shakala on Shillapo Island. She wasn't perfect, but she was one of the top combat artists of her age group in the tribe, and was seen as a goal to surpass by many of her peers. This led to her being somewhat lonely, besides her brother and the shakala chief who was strangely interested in her more than the others. However, that changed suddenly one day during the tribe's bathing cycle when a mermaid attacked. Her brother, as well as a few others, were eaten before they could drive the mermaid away. After sulking for a few days, she was visited by the chief, who convinced her to rise back up. It was then that she pledged to become more powerful and work on her skills, to be able to protect her people from any dangers. She has been very fighting-focused ever since.

-Abilities-
Besides the natural defenses that her shakala hair-needles give her, Kinara is skilled with not only weapons, but magic, too. She owns stone-headed, steel-headed, and quill-headed spears, all of which she is skilled with both single-wield and dual-wield. Kinara is fast and capable of delivering swift strikes, and can switch from offense to defense as needed. She is also quite skilled with her innate wind-element magic, which allows her to manipulate wind currents at will. She can use her wind magic to cover long distances by jumping, or augment her running speed. She can also use this magic to create swift, sharp gusts of wind, dense with magic energies, that can strike or cut targets from afar (up to 15 feet away). These attacks aren't as strong as they would be performed with her own limbs or weapons, though, and they do little to nothing against a giant predator. She can also combine her wind powers with her weapon-wielding ability to create powerful special techniques. For example, while using a spear, she can gather cyclonic wind around the head, then throw the spear while releasing the wind swirling around it to create a sort of spiralling blade effect, a technique dubbed "Whirlwind Javelin". She can also use her magic to decrease the wind resistance around her body and push her limbs in the direction they’re headed instead of against them, making her movements much faster, but less controlled; a technique dubbed "Windstorm Assault". Windstorm Assault puts more strain on her muscles, however, and causes her to tire out quicker. As a shakala, she has their collective weakness; getting her hair wet will weigh it down, causing her to become pretty well immobile, as well as making her safe to touch and eat. Her hair is flammable as well, making fire and lightning equally as dangerous to her. Outside of spells that can be physically defended against, she effectively lacks any sort of magical defense.

Good news! ^.^ I finally got an index for all my characters bios up on the first page to make my thread easier to navigate! ^.^ Woooo!

^ I like this!

(Edited out)

Name: T104-Y16 "Ty Ty"
Race: IngoWorks Inu-Type Automaton
Gender: N/A
Chrono / Bio Age: 8 / 16
Height: 5'5"
Hair Colour: Brown
Fur Colour: Brown
Eye Colour: Green
Predation: Safe

-Appearance-
Designation T104-Y16, nicknamed "Ty Ty" by her previous owner, is an automated mechanical being that originated offworld of Felarya. "She" appears as an inu, much like the ones native to Felarya, with light skin, chestnut brown hair and fur, glassy green eyes, and a short tail that is almost always wagging behind her. She wears a pair of overalls-style short-shorts and a short-sleeved green dress shirt underneath, as well as a dark brown old-style worker's cap, the sides of which have been cut a little for her ears, and a pair of brown worker's boots. Everything about her appearance is extremely realistic, down to the different tones in her skin. It even heals minor cuts and scrapes on the tissue. However, when she walks, she makes noticeable whirring sounds, and her footsteps are heavy and metallic. Notably, she always carries a pair of heavy, brown, weaved sacks of groceries in her arms, tied at the top. She weighs around 470 pounds despite her slender, shapely look. She speaks with a high, fast, and slightly electronic-sounding voice. Cup size A.

-Personality-
Ty Ty has what can be described at best as a quirky personality. It is unknown if she suffered damage upon traveling through a dimensional anomaly to Felarya or if she's programmed to be the way she acts. She tends to speak with an energetic, happy tone, and often talk rather quickly. She seems to be quite hyperactive, but also rather stupid; she constantly asks people she meets in Felarya if they are her "owner", will ask multiple people even after getting an answer, and won't check anyone who answers "yes" to see if they really are, she simply goes ahead and does what they tell her to do until she is separated from them. And even so, she's not easy to take advantage of, as she often messes up commands given to her, 'hears' them wrong and does something completely different, or gets distracted while carrying out an order. She also has the capability to feel emotions - quite a feat for a work of machinery. She also seems to like to play back things she has recorded, and will adopt a different voice and expression when this happens. She does have one definitely predictable quality, however; if someone or something threatens a person she has identified as her owner, she will go to all lengths to keep them from harm, as she claims she is programmed to do.

-Background-
Ty Ty was originally made by a company known as IngoWorks on some other world 8 years ago. The company was paid by a rich and powerful investor who poured a large amount into technology that would allow artificial beings to experience emotion. Ty Ty became one of those robots. After she was bought, she was introduced her to another automaton, T063-N04, also known as "Noa", whom Ty Ty became good friends with. Life was rather uneventful for the most part for Ty Ty, carrying out her owner's commands, helping him with work and fetching groceries for him every so often. But the biggest shock of her life was when she realized not all artificial life forms could feel emotions like she could; this came when she confessed her adoration for Noa, and he wasn't able to reciprocate her feelings. After having a tough time coming to the realization of this, having let the heartbreak affect her work ethic, she was almost sent to scrap until she managed to get her act together and be able to accept Noa despite his inability to love her in return. She decided that just being there with him and having fun with him was enough. A year later, during one of her grocery runs, on the way back to her master's abode, she unwittingly stepped through a dimensional portal leading to Felarya, finding herself in the forests. Either due to malfunctions caused by this event, or perhaps just bad programming, she only seemed to be half-aware of what happened, not realizing she'd been transported but also knowing something had definitely gone wrong. She decided to just keep walking on to look for her master and give him the groceries, and continues to do so now, the event having been quite recent.

-Abilities-
Ty Ty has many of the generic-seeming abilities one would think a robotic girl would have, including extendable limbs that can rotate 360 degrees or more, and the ability to record and play back sounds and voices she's heard. She is very durable, able to take a punch from a strong giant predator and stay marginally functional. She also boasts strength comparable to a human of above-average physical prowess, though she can seem stronger than that because she has access to the full range of strength that a human has regardless of emotion. She also has concealable movement treads in the soles of her feet. Her main abilities involve her extendible limbs and the pneumatic systems that power them. She can extend her biceps, forearms, calves and thighs each to ten feet maximum, giving her a maximum possible height of twenty feet high. She can also extend her neck, fingers, and waist as well. The pneumatics are also what allow her her remarkable strength. In order to use them, though, she does need to be able to 'breathe' air via her mouth. By inhaling, she can increase the air pressure in her limbs and push them outward; she must exhale to pull them back in. She can also increase the air pressure in her limbs while keeping them locked in place, then release them to shoot them out at a faster speed. She is completely powered, interestingly, by a system that actively absorbs magic energy from around her and converts it to electrical energy, which suggests that the world she originates from is not only technologically advanced, to a degree, but also rich with magic like Felarya is. This system has allowed her to continue functioning in Felarya without needing an inaccessible recharge of power. She is waterproof, but not necessarily fireproof, though her appearance is all that can really be damaged by the latter. She does have a weakness against electricity, which she conducts actively. If given enough, her circuits will overheat and cause her to shut down, at least temporarily, which causes her magic-absorbing system to shut off, too. She hasn't been eaten thus far, so the question of her body's edibility and digestibility has yet to be determined, but even so, eating her would likely be a cause of discomfort and probably serious indigestion, even food poisoning, for any predator.

-Diet-
As a machine, Ty Ty does not require food of any sort, or even air. However, she is able to eat, and has a containment unit built into her torso that can hold things, food or otherwise. She can take things out of her 'stomach' any time she needs to. She is also equipped with a low-powered cannon that can fire things from her stomach container. Besides that, she's basically non-predatory to everything.

There's always room for automatons in my book. I wrote up an idea for a town dependant on them. I tend to view them as constructs though, and Ty Ty seems to fit the mold of an android to me. Both profiles are nicely written and that minor detail I just pointed out won't take away from them. Mmmm... I guess I do have one more issue to take here. I kinda question the logic of parents abandoning babies in the street in hopes they'll find a better life.

Edit: I voted kill it with fire cause it just sounds so fun. v_v

Heavenless-star wrote:

There's always room for automatons in my book. I wrote up an idea for a town dependant on them. I tend to view them as constructs though, and Ty Ty seems to fit the mold of an android to me. Both profiles are nicely written and that minor detail I just pointed out won't take away from them. Mmmm... I guess I do have one more issue to take here. I kinda question the logic of parents abandoning babies in the street in hopes they'll find a better life.

Edit: I voted kill it with fire cause it just sounds so fun. v_v

Orphanages are for those who don't live in the poor part of Negav? ^.^ Nyu, I thought it'd work nice there. I don't think it's something that needs to be changed though, right?

Your last post confruzes me. o.o

What orphanage are you talking about?

Heavenless-star wrote:

Your last post confruzes me. o.o

What orphanage are you talking about?

You said it's strange for parents to abandon their babies in the street. I thought, the alternate option was an orphanage, and assumed you were asking why they didn't leave Minacchi at one.

Nyaha wrote:

Heavenless-star wrote:

Your last post confruzes me. o.o

What orphanage are you talking about?

You said it's strange for parents to abandon their babies in the street. I thought, the alternate option was an orphanage, and ass-u-med you were asking why they didn't leave Minacchi at one.

Now, do you see what you just did here? D:

I wasn't thinking of an orphanage but I was indeed thinking it's not a great idea to leave a child exposed and expect someone else to come along and take good care of them. It was just something that I had raised an eyebrow at, that's all. It wasn't a major problem with the character.

Yes I see, and I know, assuming is a horrible thing to do. I'm very sorry, I'll try not to let it happen again.

I'd just like to let anyone who's interested know that I've finished reworking Nyaha's backstory. It's very similar to how it used to be, but I made sure this time to have a difference between him before his mother's passing and after. After all, nobody loses someone that close to them without going through some kind of personal change. ;3

kind of like ya Minacchi character.

Hail to the street performer