GAME: King of the Hill

I walk up the hill, put a gun against your head, pulled the trigger, now you're dead while singing Bohemian Rhapsody. MY HILL

I slowly get back up, grinning all awhile with sharpened teeth and crimson eyes. The head wound that you inflicted slowly heals, the blood caked around it flowing back in as the bullet lodged within my cranium becomes visible. With a ping it falls out and bounces upon the ground. I chuckle at this for a moment, then snap my fingers menacingly.

The earth beneath your feet begins to rumble as if some great beast lurked below. In an instant, it opens up, revealing a vast throat of stone and jagged teeth of iron. As you are swallowed whole, you fall for untold miles, your ultimate destination a rocky stomach filled with sulfurous gases and molten magma. Before this fate, though, the earth closes once more, leaving not a trace of what once existed there.

The hill now barren, I skip merrily towards it and claim it as my own.

I grab you through the ground and you die of a heart attack. I take the hill and plant grass and trees and flowers on it. MY HILL

The fairy in my bottle comes out as my breath falters. Swirling around my body a few times, sprinkling sparkles as it goes, it restores my hp before flying off. Rejuvenated, I perform a summoning to remove you from what is soon to be my hill.

The heavens darken as thunder clashes across the sky. From a swirling vortex of storm clouds, a massive object descends slowly. In form it is like a great black serpent formed from intertwined tentacles and possessing numerous glowing eyes and tooth studded maws all along its body. The air crackles and the ground shakes, this dimension being unable to truly handle the sheer presence of this elder being. This devourer of stars continues forth, though, unheeded by what it considers a minor problem. Ageless and eternal, it consumes you and your pitiful scenery in its entirety, breaking both down beyond comprehension, then it replaces what was on the hill with a landscape twisted by its very presence and engulfed in shadows. It then returns from whence it came, its task complete.

I sit upon a thrown of darkness within a newly constructed church built of flesh and bone. The hill is mine.

I forgo my human form, swoop down, lift you thousands of feet into the air and then drop you, you make a sickening splat as you hit the ground. But as you fall you see the silhouette of a harpy in the sun's light. MY HILL

I walk onto the hill because you left it for a flight. MY HILL.

You fail to notice the splattered mass beside you, at least until the sickening sound of bones realigning draws your attention. Within moments my horridly broken body repairs itself, and then I casually stand up once again. "I hate when that happens. Oh well, back to reclaiming my hill." is all I say before performing a summoning.

The sky darkens once more before an army of ewoks descend, swarming both you and the earlier harpy. In seconds you are both hogtied by "teddy bears" and carried off into the sunset.

The hill abandoned, I claim it as my own.

Using the power the US apparently has, I summon a fleet of UFOs to come and abduct you. I do the good ol' "Live long and prosper" as they fly off before claiming the hill. MY HILL!

I never landed on the ground, I fly down with a rocket launcher in one of my feet and fire upon you, you are exploded and I take the hill MY Hill.

I use a massive vacuum cleaner to suck your flying mass into the machine. MY HILL.

I apply the laws of physics which states that such would require a massive powersource, therefore nullifying your vacuum and I throw you off the hill, MY Hill.

I set up a massive screen with lots of sonic and megaman footage to distract you. I cart you off the hill and run back to plant my flag. MY HILL.

I am not that easily distracted, I break you in half and throw your halves off the hill. MY Hill.

I mine under the hill and fill the mine with over 100 tonnes of trinitrotoluene. I detonate the explosives blowing the hill part, as there is no hill left I leave, fight it out amongst yourselves for the remains.

Jumping into a nearby Tardis, I go back in time far before this conflict occurred to when the hill was just formed. I claim it long before any of you even thought of it. During this time, I manage to get one of the impenetrable domes owned by the leatherheads to surround the hill from "all" sides.

I move the dome, and claim the hill. MY hill.

I get a restraining order put on you as I claim the hill. You must now stay at away at me at all times.

I snipe you from miles away, have a group of people keep your body far enough away for me to claim the hill. MY HILL!

I bomb the hill, obliterating you. MY... crater?

In the wake of the tragedy hill bombing, my crew built a better hill, with a steel frame and a sprinkler system. I claim it easily as my own. This dome has been reinstated and the hill is now guarded by an army of robotic Richard Simmons.

Your sprinkler system activates, shorting out the Richard Simmons army. While you're trying to repair them, I sneak up behind you and push you down the hill. I then re-arrange the Richard Simmons army into my personal fort.

MY Hill fort

I leap out of the Blue Falcon and Falcon Punch the hell out of you and the entire galaxy sees the explosion, as well as the neighboring galaxies. MY HILL!

I warp reality around the hill, dragging it into an alternate dimension of shadows and darkness. Unspeakable horrors inhabit this realm. Thus I claim the hill and open up a time share on it.

I beat you in a race and then Falcon Kick you. My HILL

Using moves much quicker and much more effective than a Falcon Punch or Kick, I simply push you off the hill and watch as you roll off into a lake filled with crocodiles. They haven't eaten much in the past two days and jump on you like a dog on a leg. I claim the hill as MY HILL!